There is a Reality TV show, and it is called “Married at First Sight.” With all of the principled thoughts we could review in regard to industry, government, associations, sports, politics, crime or even the “arts,” why should we care about three couples who met, married and divorced all within the span of six months?
Married at First Sight
After much thought, I came to realize that this show illustrates how far some of us have strayed from core values and beliefs. It is a pretend show; a type of template that is used to supplant the connections our society desperately needs to me making.
Don’t get me wrong
I have no cultural, religious or political axe to grind. The premise of the show is as stupid as it is simple. Strangers submit their profiles to a team of experts for evaluation. Who are these experts? They are counselors, sociologists and “dating experts” who have created social platforms for themselves through the social media and publishing.
One would think these credentialed folks would know better, but money and fleeting fame are tempting – and who knows, this gig may lead to further fame and fortune in Reality Land. The experts review the profiles of the “contestants” and pair them off.
The couples meet at the altar, marry, consummate in a hotel room (adding prurience to the mix) and head off to married life.
In an article appearing in The Daily Mail (June 16, 2015) by authors Erica Tempesta for Dailymail.com and Shyam Dodge for MailOnline, we learn that all three marriages have ended. The authors summarize as follows:
“All three couples appeared on last night’s six-month reunion special of the reality show.
Jaclyn Methuen, 30, said Ryan Ranellone, 29, never made an effort to work on their relationship after filming stopped.
Davina Kullar, 34, and her ex-husband Sean Varricchio, 35, spoke to each other for the first time since deciding to divorce six months ago.
Jessica Castro, 30, said her husband Ryan De Nino, 29, had cheated on her and on Monday it was revealed that Jessica has filed a restraining order against Ryan”
It was the perfect 3 for 3.
The reunion show was a predictable staging filled with bitterness and fueled by appearance dollars and drama. The couples did not find each other attractive; they shared no core beliefs and had obviously moved no closer together as human beings in marriage than prior to the day they met.
What are we saying to each other ethically?
If the inter-personal relationships of our society are the ethical core of our society, what has this television program taught us?
Let’s go from the bottom-up on this pyramid. The audience, the millions who gossip and debate at these train-wreck marriages, somehow plug-into the program very much like the ancients who watched bouts at the Roman Coliseum or more contemporary, like those of us who have ever gone to the demolition derby.
The men and women who have been coupled are nicely dressed and well-coiffed. They are life-sized versions of the plastic brides and grooms on a wedding cake.
The audience might say in justification, “Well, arranged marriages have been taking place since the dawn of time.” It is the only true statement in this scenario, but very flawed. Many cultures have had arranged marriages as a mechanism of survival of the faith, inter-connectedness and support of the community and economic stability. In other words, a context. There is no ethical context here, unless you count ratings and shampoo sales.
The couples themselves are sad and desperate. They have so bought into their failures as human beings that they can’t imagine themselves as forming healthy relationships on their own. I cannot imagine a situation with more manipulation and ultimately, humiliation.
Then there are the experts who participate in bringing the poor souls together. Instead of helping, they hurt. Instead of empowering, they detract. If they truly wanted to be of help, they should consider working with each one of these people in a private, therapeutic setting. However, they might first apologize for lowering their professional standards so as to participate in this scam.
At the top of the pyramid are the producers and sponsors. I might have two questions for them as they head out into the Hollywood sunset:
- Are you or your children in an arranged marriage?
- Why not?
As we are permitting our society to increasingly erase ethical boundaries with shows and other events of this nature, we might re-visit an observation I made above as to why this blog isn’t reviewing more-weighty ethical problems in regard to industry, government, associations, sports, politics, crime or even the “arts.”
In fact, it is.
Poor ethical behavior doesn’t spring up out of nothing; it is influenced by many factors including situations where we give up a basic, moral and honest view of ourselves to become manipulated by experts, money and power.
YOUR COMMENTS ARE WELCOME!
I could say much about this topic since my husband and i met and married inside of 15 days. We have watched this show and had many discussions regarding the couples. But at the crux of it all, you’re exactly right Chuck – it’s the fact they allowed themselves to be manipulated by experts, power and money!
Great article!