“I want to apologize to Michael Sam for the inappropriate comments that I made last night on social media.” – Don Jones Suspended Defensive Back, Miami Dolphins.
At the time of writing this post, Michael Sam, the first openly gay player drafted into professional football, has just been picked up by the St. Louis Rams. Whether Michael Sam will succeed as a football player in the NFL is a separate issue. He was an outstanding college athlete and he has the chance to make the team. Football is a tough game and many outstanding college athletes never make it.
When Michael was chosen he did what most of us would do; he kissed his significant other because he was happy. As it was newsworthy, the scene was televised. Because he is openly gay, he felt no shame or embarrassment kissing his boyfriend. Some viewed the scene with understanding and compassion, some were neutral and others were reviled. It is not Michael Sam’s business what you think; he is comfortable with himself. Nevertheless, when NFL football player Don Jones saw the kiss, he tweeted out that he thought it was “horrible.”
Enter the Twitter-sphere
Chances are pretty strong that if you’re reading this post you either have a Twitter account or you know someone who does. Twitter is free. Anyone can get a Twitter account – and I mean just about anyone. If you want to tweet that today is a sunny day, or that your dog is pooping on your neighbor’s lawn or that seeing Michael Sam kissing his boyfriend is horrible, that is your business. BUT…
Twitter is about as private as a bus station. I use bus station with intention. For Twitter is a crossroads where the poorest cross paths with the richest; where a Harvard medical school student may sit next to a drug addicted dropout; where all kinds of philosophies and political persuasions and racial and religious attitudes can potentially collide. On a given day, maybe several thousand people cross paths at the bus station and on Twitter, more than 250 million. Twitter can also be linked to Facebook and LinkedIn and hundreds of other social networks, so a single tweet can go around the world in seconds.
When you Tweet something, it is instantaneous. If you want to Tweet that your company manufactures unsafe trucks, or that your boss is having an affair or that the sight of two men kissing each other is horrible, go right ahead, BUT, don’t you ever confuse it with free speech. It is not “free.” In fact, expect consequences. The social media is monitored; companies and organizations care what you say. Worse, if you are a professional athlete with many thousands of followers, the consequences will be multiplied.
Why I teach athletes
Whether you agree or disagree with Don Jones is not relevant to this conversation. Don Jones has two bosses; the Miami Dolphins and the NFL. The Miami Dolphins are still reeling from last season’s Richie Incognito debacle. They are sensitive to anything negative, bullying or hinting of bias – and Jones should have understood that. The NFL has made it patently clear that Michael Sam is welcomed and that it will not tolerate bias against any player, gay or otherwise.
Please spare me the worn locker room analogies about how professional sports are different than other workplace situations. They are fundamentally not.
The NFL monitors the social media and the NFL cares about its image and the NFL has told those in the league to watch what they say. This is not free speech and whether you see this as political correctness or “thought police” or any other restriction is not relevant either.
If Don Jones wants to leave the NFL and play football in the local parks and recreation league, that is his business but if he expects to play professional football for the NFL, he will abide by their rules. You can tweet about your company producing unsafe trucks or say libelous things about your boss’ indiscretions, but you had better well be able to prove what you say in a court of law – and get your resume together in any case.
Football players are young and, let’s face it; sometimes their 140 keystroke tweets are alcohol infused. Athletes often believe there are no consequences to their off-the-field behavior. I teach them that there are consequences to every ethical misstep. I teach athletes that who they are ethically and what they say and do matters.
I wish that Don Jones could have sat in on one of my programs or one on one meetings. In a relatively brief time I could have helped him understand that what he says and does matters. For now, he is fined and suspended, and who knows how many potential endorsements have been lost?
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