I must confess that I don’t know about this stuff first hand as I am a male of the species, and second-hand as a father, husband and grandfather. I am also not blind; I watch television, the movies and of course, I must use the internet on a constant basis.
The standard of what has become “beautiful” in our society has become so twisted and so difficult to attain, that it leads many women – and surprisingly many men into feelings of constant inferiority. It also leads many into plastic surgery, eating disorders and depression. What does this have to do with good ethics? Just about everything.
First, let’s talk about Jennifer Garner.
According to multiple news sources, on October 6, 2014, Ms. Garner arrived at the premiere of her new movie. The big news of the evening in regard to the actress was speculation that she was again pregnant because gossip columnists were speculating that she had a “baby bump.”
Long aside: Since we are all friends here, may I say that I hate the term “baby bump?” I prefer pregnant, but I suppose that is just my age talking. I also dislike it when a woman refers to her husband as the “baby’s daddy.” I prefer father. Father connotes something much more.
Off my soapbox and back to Jennifer.
On October 8, 2014, Ms. Garner was on a daytime talk show and she was asked again about the “baby bump.” At first she played along with the audience and the audience was excited to know they would be let in on a big secret. Then she said the following:
“Hold up. I am not pregnant. But there is a bump. I have had three kids and there is a bump. From now on ladies, I will have a bump and it will be my baby bump.” She went on to talk about the name of her baby bump as being her children’s first names.
For a few minutes I felt really bad for her. The audience thought her comment was funny, sort of –, but not really what they were expecting. Many cannot always accept our stars as people, but as gossip targets. All this objectification is troubling; not for me, as an old guy comfortable in his skin, but for our children and grandchildren who must deal with this stuff on a daily basis.
Baby bumps and reality
Multiple studies suggest that attractive women and attractive men make more money than “OK looking people.” They aren’t necessarily smarter or wiser or even better in business or even more ethical; they are just perceived as being more attractive. Here’s the problem: “attractive” is a moving target.
Maybe that’s what Jennifer Garner was trying to tell us. She had three kids and that does something to the body. Her “baby bump” doesn’t mean there’s anything “wrong” with her, it just means she doesn’t look the same way she did when she was 18.
She accepts that, and knowing those of you who follow me, we accept that, unfortunately the messages that permeate the media and sometimes filter down to your daughter’s or son’s social circle don’t.
Moving targets will always move
We must always understand that physical perfection is an illusion and even if our children have trouble with that concept, we must teach them. Beyond encouraging good health and good nutrition and proper hygiene, we cannot make our children into the stars we see on reality television or in the movies; for they too are mythical. They spend their career chasing targets.
Last week I read of a major singing star who was “caught” in a Photoshop scandal. She is a beautiful woman but why use digital enhancement? Because she too was chasing the moving target.
For those of us in the real world, understand that in the workplace honesty, good ethical behavior, kindness and compassion, creativity and more are not functions of physical beauty. Good ethics, as always, are grounded in something far deeper; the “heart.” It is wise to remember that when you hire and more important when your children choose their role models. And never forget, there are some beautiful people in this world who are downright ugly.
