A guest blog by Pegine Echevarria, MSW, CSP
If there is one thing I know for sure it is being and becoming mentally tough is an ongoing story. Facing challenges and overcoming the odds is, at least for me, a day in and day out process.
At any given moment, it is easy to give up and wimp out. At any given moment there are tons of reasons, many rational and logical to be soft, subservient, and self-sacrificing. Often there are life affirming excuses, created in our heads, to give up and accept all as it is, this is life, isn’t it?
These include taking care of the kids, the elders, the relationship, and the needy. Constantly giving or sacrificing self for others makes me ticked because the internal dialogue keeps droning on in a low, deep message.
“I can’t do it.
I just can’t.”
I can’t accept that what I’ve dreamed of, planned for, visualized is not in my stars. I know it is for me. If things aren’t happening as quickly, or smoothly I have to look at me and my own actions.
Yes, yes I know stuff happens. Death, illness, pain, suffering… yes… true, that all happens. I can overcome that. I can be in a better place. I can make a different choice. I can challenge myself to be my highest self.
What would we tell someone else?
Go for the gold, do it, yes you can!
I can look back and see those times when I just did whatever I needed to do to get the job done. To be the ‘me’, I chose to be. It is the same now. The same ongoing process of being mentally tough is here and is now. I can do what can only be done by me.
To be mentally tough I’ve learned that I have to do the following:
1- Take responsibility for where I am right now.
For me it is looking at the truth, looking at the good, the bad and the ugly. I know the metrics and I know where I’ve done well and I know where I just didn’t cut it. Numbers are just numbers. There is no emotional attachment to numbers. Sales, savings, weight, calls made, team production numbers… it is all just a number. If you choose to put an emotional attachment to the number, you are responsible for that. When you look at the numbers there is truth of action. Don’t use it to beat yourself up, or to cheer yourself on. It is a number, and you NOW get to choose the next number and go for it.
2- Set a goal and a date to accomplish that goal and own it.
There are goals that I’ve set that I didn’t make. I didn’t own them. I wasn’t in to win them. There is no way to that I could be tough enough to achieve my goal if I didn’t own it. There are others times that I set a goal and I owned it. Nothing was going to stop me, nothing. There is a gift in that moment when you own it and connect with spirit to say “I will, I am, I have.” It is the fighting spirit that says I will fight and win. The fight is always within. Only your own spirit can make you push, prod, provoke and achieve. Go for it inside you and trust the source and the power within to achieve it. It is exhilarating. This is what being mentally tough is all about.
3- Talk out loud to yourself daily, committing to yourself that you can and you will.
I am my own motivator. You are your own motivator. The investment you make in preparing your mantras, the simple statements that you create to remind you of who you are and where you are going. Keeping this mantra alive, repeating it daily and recommitting to it daily (and sometimes repeating it many, many times in the day) keeps you focused and clear of where and who you are and what you are committed to do.
4- There is no competition except with you.
The only competitor I have in my race is me. I learned. You can’t compete with the guy next to you, because it doesn’t matter. It is all about your race. If there are numbers on the board and his numbers are higher than yours, so what. It only means that you lost sight of your actions. Either you are making the calls, are engaging your team, or asking for the promotion or opportunity or not. Either you are doing it or something within you is stopping you. It has NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM. The competition is with you. Stop wasting time comparing your life to others, or imagining how easy it is for them or even pointing out their failings. It is none of your business. It doesn’t matter to your life and success at all.
Being a mentally tough woman is always an ongoing story. It is your story and mine. Your life and your determination to be the female leader and powerhouse you were destined to be begins with being a mentally tough woman.
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(c) 2014 Pegine Echevarria
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Pegine is a motivational business speaker, consultant, personal coach, and author who teaches business and leadership development.. Her passion is showing women how to communicate their value, and to become Feisty, Fearless, Focused, FUN, Female leaders. Her messages apply to men, too, and she also helps companies attract and cultivate female leadership. Pegine is the author of ‘Sometimes You Need to Kick Your Own Butt’, ‘Bragging Rights: Transform Your Team in 21 Days’ and ‘I’ve Got the Power To Lead & Think Big’.
