As a society, we have come to over-value beauty. We routinely see, hear and read evidence of both women and men shamed for being too fat, too thin, too hairy, too old, too short, too wrinkled or too gray. Then there are, of course critics bashing others for having yellow teeth, big noses, funny ears, frizzy hair, bad nails or dandruff.
Unfortunately, many in our society fail to see underneath the surface; from where the heart and soul originate; from where goodness and good ethics dwell. This observation was so “beautifully” illustrated in a recent case involving a beauty queen.
In an article appearing on NBC News by Erik Ortiz (August 12, 2015) entitled: “Brandi Lee Weaver-Gates, Pennsylvania Beauty Queen, Arrested After Allegedly Faking Cancer,” we get to meet what is sometimes below the surface:
“A Pennsylvania beauty queen is facing felony charges for allegedly raising thousands of dollars from donors whom she tricked into believing she was battling cancer, police say.
Brandi Lee Weaver-Gates, a 23-year-old reigning Miss Pennsylvania U.S. International, was arrested Tuesday and charged with theft by deception and receiving stolen property, NBC affiliate WJAC reported. Her bond was set at $150,000, and she remains jailed at the Centre County Correctional Facility.”
The article goes on to explain that the beautiful young woman carried out what has been described as an “elaborate scheme” to trick people into believing that she had chronic lymphocytic leukemia, a truly awful disease to have. She shaved her head and had family members drive her to the hospital for treatments she obviously never received.
Good people even rallied around her and held events for her such as Bingo nights where as much as $14,000 was raised. She carried on an act and almost had everyone fooled. In an interview last year she was quoted as follows:
“I didn’t know how to tell my family and even though they were there through it all, it still feels like (you’re) battling it alone because they don’t understand.”
Of course no one understood, she never had the disease. What Brandi Lee Weaver-Gates had was beauty and a plan to scam people.
She had the means to lie because of her “platform,” and the goodness of a loving family and community. She had the opportunity to take advantage of others because her story was so compelling and heart-wrenching. I am sure that those around her, even used her situation to explain to each other how nothing is ever perfect in life, and how it is so easy to fall from “great heights.”
They were partially right. Brandi Lee Weaver-Gates has fallen into a prison of her own making. She created the prison through her bad choices, and the consequence is that she is about to close the door on herself, her reputation and her future.
An ugly person with a sash
The sash and the title have been taken away, of course.
What has not been yet heard is a public apology. What has not been shared is a contrite statement begging for a second chance and for redemption. Perhaps it will come some day; perhaps not. As long as people are unwilling to look past the exterior and see an inner truth, she will not fully experience the humiliation she needs to experience.
However, the case is not without its important lessons.
The first, obviously, is that there are still, despite our cynicism, some very fine people in this world who were willing to step up for the young woman.
The second important lesson is that all too often we are led by appearance rather than substance. Unfortunately (and there are hundreds of cases we see in our daily lives) what we hold out as beauty can turn ugly very quickly. I am reminded of all of those dating, engagement and marriage shows on reality TV where couples split apart almost as soon as the cameras are turned off. Despite all of the short-cuts and the fantasies our impatient and sometimes capricious society desires, we still need to get to know one another. In making our important decisions about someone, whether in our personal lives or in our business lives, we still need to ask: Is this a good person, is this an ethical person?
Finally, I must bring up an old adage spoken by our grandparents and undoubtedly, their grandparents before them: “Beauty is only skin deep.”
Beauty often fades when we really get a glimpse as to what some people are really about. And other times, beauty grows on us as a person’s essence emerges from within. I would like to think that ethics has something to do with making people more beautiful.
