On the news the other day, was a segment (NBC News) entitled: “Wardrobe Wars.” It concerned itself with how schools across the nation were trying to impose dress standards, and how some students – and their parents – were fighting against the rules. The protesting students were teenaged girls.
Mother and teen daughter after quarrel on sofa at home.
When first tuning in the segment, I had a mental image of the old-fashioned school ma’am standing at the door of the school house making sure the skirts were floor length or that everyone was wearing the official school uniform with thick-soled shoes.
Such was not the case.
While different schools had different expectations, they were focused on things like no sundresses, no bare shoulders or backs, no short skirts or short-shorts. The young women were upset that anyone would place restrictions on them. Indeed, NBC News trotted out a body image consultant who spoke to the positives and negatives of a dress code. There are consultants available on nearly every topic.
From the school administrative standpoint, their response was that they were encouraging their students to dress for success. Yeah, I suppose I can kind of get that. I also think that they were side-stepping a number of obvious and troubling issues, including parents who defend most anything their children do, because they have abdicated their parental roles.
Quicksand
Oh yes, I realize that I am stepping on quicksand here. So if I am going to free-fall, I might as well say that this shouldn’t be a battle at all. A 14 year-old girl is not supposed to be at war with any responsible educator in authority. Her battle is with courses, learning and trying to better her life. Her parents need to step up and support school administrators. I heard no administrator say anything outrageous or irresponsible.
I will go one step further. The very same media outlets who have been fanning the flames of this “war,” are also backed by networks who are creating it. There is no end to programming where instead of empowering young women and young men, they are sexualizing them. Despite the issues many in the media claim they address e.g., body shaming, the reality is widespread hypocrisy and subtle messaging of physical perfection. I find that terribly unethical.
Young people are aspirational. Given the opportunity, many 13,14 and 15 year-old’s will want to emulate the “stars” they encounter in celebrity magazines, online sites and of course, on reality TV. The shows often stretch many modicums of decency. They also stretch credibility. I know people who work in reality TV; they assure me nothing about those shows – or their stars, are real.
I am not a prude nor do I have any political or religious axe to grind. I am on the side of young of young women aspiring to be scientists, mathematicians, athletes, physicians, veterinarians and physicists, not Kylie Jenner.
However, it is up to responsible adults to set standards. When writing this post, I felt it necessary to research what organizations such as the American Psychological Association have to say about the over-sexualization of America’s children. Every report they have issued say it is psychologically devastating.
As a father and grandfather (boys and girls), I listen, I respect and I acknowledge. Nevertheless, it is up to me to set standards. I do not think young women should dress like Pilgrims; I also think they should respect themselves and their bodies.
Sorry, a 14 year old does not have a huge say in this issue. No argument put forward on dress has been unreasonable. I don’t care what a singer is wearing on MTV, if it’s inappropriate, it should not be worn to school.
Networks, there is no war. Parents, be parents. Your kids are not your dearest friends.
YOUR COMMENTS ARE WELCOME!
