In life we have many choices, but rarely are we faced with ones that can create a foundation for success or failure like “transparency” can. It’s easy to live in illusion, in fact we’re most often subconsciously taught that. But if you want to find success in life you might want to consider the five ways transparency creates success.
“By being transparent about the reality of who we are and our experiences, we give permission to other people to do the same.” Chuck Gallagher, Second Chances, Transforming Adversity into Opportunity
Many of us are programmed at a very young age to live life through that illusion – not allowing people to see the truth of ourselves. As we hide behind illusion we protect ourselves from being vulnerable – or being taken advantage of. Illusion programming creates the foundation for how we live out our lives. We are not aware of the programming as it’s taught in subtle ways.
Mom always said, “Son you can be somebody! Get a good education and you can go far.” She was right about the education, but her first statement was an example of that subliminal programming that underlies many of the choices we make – choices that for me earned me the right to go to prison. Mind you, I was deeply loved by my mother. She had no clue that her ‘encouragement’ was creating a deeply more destructive foundation.
As I grew older, I knew I could be somebody. The problem was those “somebodies” I was striving to become had something that I lacked – financial success. Unaware of the power of that programming from so long ago, I made choices that became the foundation of my early life.
As I grew older creating and maintaining the illusions of success left me in a self-made prison. The pressure of maintaining the illusions, led to made simple choices at first to satisfy my financial need. Once made the combination of need, opportunity and rationalization provided a foundation that enabled me to embezzle from my clients. Of course the outcome was prison.
When our illusions break, the truth of the illusion is exposed. There are feelings of shame and embarrassment. For me, it was when my partners discovered the theft and I had to come back and face what I had done to my clients, to my partners and to my wife. I hurt a lot of people including myself.
I had a lot of time to think in prison. I thought about the choices I made and the consequences that followed. I wondered about what would happen when I was released from my physical prison. I lost everything, so I thought. The illusion was gone and I was a nobody in the eyes of many. I made the choice, then, that I was not going to continue to imprison myself by hiding. I made the choice to live a victorious life.
The road back began at the bottom. In many ways it truly was a miracle experience. I revealed the truth to a local businessman and he allowed me to be a sales person going door-to-door selling cemetery property. I chose not to hide the truth. I made a mistake, I lived with consequences of that mistake and now I chose to honest about it. One of the best choices I’ve made in my life. Some may ask, “How can you be so open about what you’ve done.” The answer is easy. It transformed my life and led to creating a different success in my life. How you may ask. Simple.
First, transparency is empowering. It defeats the program of illusion and sets us free. Transparency empowers people to live a life free from the self-made prisons. Through that freedom, life changes and the ability to influence others in positive ways grows dramatically. This is the starting step for how transparency creates success.
Second, transparency frees others to be transparent. When people are transparent about their life and their experiences, it frees other people to be transparent. This provides a way for them to break free from their self made prisons and allows them to experience greater growth personally and professionally. My vulnerability provides a foundation for others to see and know that they, too, can be vulnerable and not suffer immediate and negative consequences. Transparency creates success…here’s step two.
Third, transparency leads to acceptance. In my life, there are still some who think I am a “low life” because I stole money and went to prison. There is nothing I can do to change what they think. But they are most certainly the minority. Their judgment says more about themselves and the illusions they harbor than it says about me. Transparency means I don’t hide in illusions anymore. Because of transparency I more successful and performing more in alignment with who I am and not who I thought I was so many years past. Acceptance leads to opportunity just as transparency creates success.
Fourth, transparency creates an environment of trust. Trust is the foundation of all relationships. Through trust I have found freedom to grow partnerships, businesses and relationships to a degree that would never have been possible had I continued to live with my old limiting was of thinking. I’ve seen disintegration in business and families where distrust reigns because the fear of transparency is the guiding principle. It doesn’t have to be that way. Transparency creates success based on this fourth principle of trust.
Fifth, transparency allows for open communication. Because transparency creates trust, one is safe to share ideas and experiences which is a great way to create momentum in any aspect of life. The momentum leads to a success that could ever be if folks choose to live in the illusion. Transparency creates success when you can openly communicate without fear. The fifth foundation is anchored by the fourth – trust.
Where from here? I would never choose to go back to living my past life, a life that resulted in making choices leading to prison. Likewise,I would never choose to give up the lessons and wisdom I received as a result of those choices. Success in life truly comes from the impact that you have on other people’s lives. What I have learned and the impact that I witness today comes from the simple understanding that transparency creates success.
